Jokes Competition.

[James Evans]

Create a joke by your self ... it must be funny.

Members can *Like* your joke.

Rules: Don't take other people jokes ....
2: Don't Flame here.
3: Please don't post a not funny joke [You can make a joke but we don't like it , but you can't post one you know it ain't funny].
4: Don't reply to this topic unless you had replied with a joke.
5: You can only Vote or Like for one joke.
6: Your joke must be in a polite way.

For the most liked joke i will pay 3k IG if management agreed.

[Ray]

How do you get a Jewish girl's number?


Roll up her sleeve.

[James Evans]

How do you get a Jewish girl's number?


Roll up her sleeve.

Semi-Funny....

i won't *like* untill lots of people post their own jokes.

[Phelps]

Joke "1"
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."

Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"

"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."

"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."



Joke"2"

A husband and wife were trying to set up a new password to their computer.
A husband, "Put 'MYPENIS' " and the wife fell on the ground laughing cause on screen was error, "Error. Not long enough."

[James Evans]

Joke"2"

A husband and wife were trying to set up a new password to their computer.
A husband, "Put 'MYPENIS' " and the wife fell on the ground laughing cause on screen was error, "Error. Not long enough."

its pretty funny but i hope you could understand the rules.

[Max Woods]

Lil' Joe comes from school and tells his dad he got 3 F's.

Father: Out of what did you get 3 F's?
Joe: Croatian, Christian Religion and P.E
Father: What happend in the Croatian Class?
Joe: Our teacher asked us to say 3 text lines and they took 3 of us on the black board.

1st boy: Mia loves Bob
2nd boy: Mia loves Joe

Father: Whoa that girl is a total whore!
Joe: THat's what I said and she gave me an F!

Father: Ok how did you get an F from Christian Religion?
Joe: The teacher told us that God is everywhere, I asked him is he in my friends basement and he said Yes.
Father: Fuc**** lier, your friend does not have a basement!
Joe: That's what I said and he gave me an F

Father: Ok how did you get an F from P.E?
Joe: Our teacher told us to raise one foot in the air then the other one too.
Father: ON what will you stand then? On your Dic*?
Joe: That's what I said and he gave me an ... F!

If you cant be bothered to read, well then, just leave the topic. ;D

[ArielV]

Retarded jokes, didn't laugh max.

[Nero]

1.)
A Duck Walks into a bar and asks the bar tender "Do you have any
grapes"?
The bar tender says "No come back tommorow."

The next day the duck goes into the bar and asks the maneger,
"Do you have and grapes?
The maneger says "No" "And if you come back again i'm goin to
staple your feet to the floor!!",
Next day he goes back and says
"You got any staples"?
The bar tender says
"No."
So he says
"Got any grapes?"
---------
2.)

"Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some squawks submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.

(P)=PROBLEM (S)=SOLUTION

(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire

(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough
(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft

(P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid
(S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 propellers
lack normal seepage

(P) Something loose in cockpit
(S) Something tightened in cockpit

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
(S) Evidence removed

(P) DME volume unbelievably loud
(S) Volume set to more believable level

(P) Dead bugs on windshield
(S) Live bugs on order

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent
(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground

(P) IFF inoperative
(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode
(IFF-Identification Friend or Foe)

(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
(S) That's what they're there for

(P) Number three engine missing
(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search

(P) Aircraft handles funny
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious!

(P) Target Radar hums
(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the lyrics

------
I lol'd at some squawks^ .

[James Evans]

Retarded jokes, didn't laugh max.

Read the rules please Ariel ...


Edit: Rule 4.

[Ferdinand Brixius]

And my parody..

http://soundcloud.com/clappa/gaspar-i-killed-skrillex

[James Evans]

http://soundcloud.com/clappa/gaspar-i-killed-skrillex

Actually My PC Is Running on Safe Mode , I Can't Listen To Music Or AnyThing.... People Can vote For U, I dk If This is Jokes Or None

[James Evans]

Mine's joke.

http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s320x320/380499_311371402230866_184289921605682_1068698_458551430_n.jpg


In the last 10 mins of exam paper
http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/314933_296298060404867_184289921605682_1027331_309733767_n.jpg

http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/311047_287932684574738_79305366_n.jpg

http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/296513_277255358975804_184289921605682_962414_654657245_n.jpg

http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s320x320/300080_275439525824054_184289921605682_955553_246564623_n.jpg

[Odin]

A Vampire walks into a bar with a Gargoyle on his shoulder.
The bartender looks at him and asks "Where did you get that?"
The Gargoyle answers: "Palomino Creek, they got them all over the place."

[Nicolas Djordjevic]

A Vampire walks into a bar with a Gargoyle on his shoulder.
The bartender looks at him and asks "Where did you get that?"
The Gargoyle answers: "Palomino Creek, they got them all over the place."

xD, Meh, sure. My lame attempt:

Kindred asks a Garou why are they losing most of the battles. The Garou answers:

"I used to be a strongest person in RC due my high level, then I took an arrow to the knee".

*Bunch of Malkavians come and laugh at the lame joke cause they are crazy anyway*

[Ferdinand Brixius]

A Vampire walks into a bar with a Gargoyle on his shoulder.
The bartender looks at him and asks "Where did you get that?"
The Gargoyle answers: "Palomino Creek, they got them all over the place."

xD, Meh, sure. My lame attempt:

Kindred asks a Garou why are they losing most of the battles. The Garou answers:

"I used to be a strongest person in RC due my high level, then I took an arrow to the knee".

*Bunch of Malkavians come and laugh at the lame joke cause they are crazy anyway*

Kinfolk*

[Nicolas Djordjevic]

A Vampire walks into a bar with a Gargoyle on his shoulder.
The bartender looks at him and asks "Where did you get that?"
The Gargoyle answers: "Palomino Creek, they got them all over the place."

xD, Meh, sure. My lame attempt:

Kindred asks a Garou why are they losing most of the battles. The Garou answers:

"I used to be a strongest person in RC due my high level, then I took an arrow to the knee".

*Bunch of Malkavians come and laugh at the lame joke cause they are crazy anyway*

Kinfolk*

Garou. Not Kinfolk. Y u edit my lame jokes? :<

[Phelps]

xD, Meh, sure. My lame attempt:

Kindred asks a Garou why are they losing most of the battles. The Garou answers:

"I used to be a strongest person in RC due my high level, then I took an arrow to the knee".

*Bunch of Malkavians come and laugh at the lame joke cause they are crazy anyway*

[Ariana Evans]

John: How old are you?
Peter: Hmmm..I'm 7
John: You know what, when I was your age, I was also 7.

[Simon Bourne]

How do you call a black Russian?

Nigor.

(lol not a joke, i've actually met a guy called Nigor, but he was Czech)

[Nicolas Djordjevic]

How do you call a black Russian?

Nigor.

(lol not a joke, i've actually met a guy called Nigor, but he was Czech)

...umm okay.

How do you call a guy who's selling Popcorns?

Victor! *laugher in the background*

[James Evans]

These aren't a jokes , are they ?

[ArielV]

Retarded jokes, didn't laugh max.

Read the rules please Ariel ...


Edit: Rule 4.

You aren't following your own rules. I've seen you post without posting a joke. kthxbye

[Nicolas Djordjevic]

These aren't a jokes , are they ?

They are.

If they are unfunny for you it doesn't means they are unfunny for me aswell. It's just how people understand 'em.

[James Evans]

Retarded jokes, didn't laugh max.

Read the rules please Ariel ...


Edit: Rule 4.

You aren't following your own rules. I've seen you post without posting a joke. kthxbye

First of all i am the one who made the topic , and i must answer the poster by nice joke , good joke .. etc

[James Evans]

Uhm okay now u can't post jokes , its time for voting , voting will be up to 29/12/2011...

People can vote to them selve, Vote here or PM me if u dont want to say in public

James Evans: 1 Vote

Mine's joke.

http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s320x320/380499_311371402230866_184289921605682_1068698_458551430_n.jpg


In the last 10 mins of exam paper
http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/314933_296298060404867_184289921605682_1027331_309733767_n.jpg

http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/311047_287932684574738_79305366_n.jpg
http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/296513_277255358975804_184289921605682_962414_654657245_n.jpg
http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s320x320/300080_275439525824054_184289921605682_955553_246564623_n.jpg

Ray Black: 0 Vote

How do you get a Jewish girl's number? Roll up her sleeve.

Phelps: 1 Vote

Joke "1"
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."

Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"

"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."

"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."

Max Wood: 0 Vote

Lil' Joe comes from school and tells his dad he got 3 F's.

Father: Out of what did you get 3 F's?
Joe: Croatian, Christian Religion and P.E
Father: What happend in the Croatian Class?
Joe: Our teacher asked us to say 3 text lines and they took 3 of us on the black board.

1st boy: Mia loves Bob
2nd boy: Mia loves Joe

Father: Whoa that girl is a total whore!
Joe: THat's what I said and she gave me an F!

Father: Ok how did you get an F from Christian Religion?
Joe: The teacher told us that God is everywhere, I asked him is he in my friends basement and he said Yes.
Father: Fuc**** lier, your friend does not have a basement!
Joe: That's what I said and he gave me an F

Father: Ok how did you get an F from P.E?
Joe: Our teacher told us to raise one foot in the air then the other one too.
Father: ON what will you stand then? On your Dic*?
Joe: That's what I said and he gave me an ... F!

If you cant be bothered to read, well then, just leave the topic. ;D

Micheal Corvin: 0 Vote

1.)
A Duck Walks into a bar and asks the bar tender "Do you have any
grapes"?
The bar tender says "No come back tommorow."

The next day the duck goes into the bar and asks the maneger,
"Do you have and grapes?
The maneger says "No" "And if you come back again i'm goin to
staple your feet to the floor!!",
Next day he goes back and says
"You got any staples"?
The bar tender says
"No."
So he says
"Got any grapes?"
---------
2.)

"Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some squawks submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.

(P)=PROBLEM (S)=SOLUTION

(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire

(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough
(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft

(P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid
(S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 propellers
lack normal seepage

(P) Something loose in cockpit
(S) Something tightened in cockpit

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
(S) Evidence removed

(P) DME volume unbelievably loud
(S) Volume set to more believable level

(P) Dead bugs on windshield
(S) Live bugs on order

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent
(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground

(P) IFF inoperative
(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode
(IFF-Identification Friend or Foe)

(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
(S) That's what they're there for

(P) Number three engine missing
(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search

(P) Aircraft handles funny
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious!

(P) Target Radar hums
(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the lyrics

------
I lol'd at some squawks^ .

David_Reese: 0 Vote

A Vampire walks into a bar with a Gargoyle on his shoulder.
The bartender looks at him and asks "Where did you get that?"
The Gargoyle answers: "Palomino Creek, they got them all over the place."

Nicolas Djordjevic: 0 Vote



[quote="Nicolas Djordjevic"]

A Vampire walks into a bar with a Gargoyle on his shoulder.
The bartender looks at him and asks "Where did you get that?"
The Gargoyle answers: "Palomino Creek, they got them all over the place."

2

How do you call a black Russian?

Nigor.

(lol not a joke, i've actually met a guy called Nigor, but he was Czech)

...umm okay.

How do you call a guy who's selling Popcorns?

Victor! *laugher in the background*

xD, Meh, sure. My lame attempt:

Kindred asks a Garou why are they losing most of the battles. The Garou answers:

"I used to be a strongest person in RC due my high level, then I took an arrow to the knee".

*Bunch of Malkavians come and laugh at the lame joke cause they are crazy anyway*

ArianaEvans: 1 Vote

John: How old are you?
Peter: Hmmm..I'm 7
John: You know what, when I was your age, I was also 7.

Simon Bourne: 0 Vote

How do you call a black Russian?

Nigor.

(lol not a joke, i've actually met a guy called Nigor, but he was Czech)

*Me Votes For My Self*
Edit: Phelps Voted For Himself
Edit: Ariana Voted for Herself

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